Big Hair and Self Help

I heard a preacher on the radio recently – a local Baptist minister. He delivered a sermon that punched me twice. His message also answered a couple of persistent questions I’ve had about Western Christian culture.

The two punches come in the form of two questions I am forced to ask myself: First, am I living so much in Christ that my children and those around me want to be like me (i.e. like Jesus)? And second, am I falling on my knees to ask the Lord to change my heart when my attitude, actions and perspective are wrong? Too often the answer to both of these questions is, “No.”

First, the preacher referred to a type of teacher who often appears on TV – you know the ones – offering seven methods, six techniques and five ways to become more spiritual, to conquer your demons, to get God’s blessing, to be your best self, etc.. These are all results that in some context might be desirable in the Christian life. But I have always felt uncomfortable with such teachings, and it’s not just because of the big hair or the slick delivery, or the air of spiritual self-satisfaction. Now I know what it is that bothers me. Something is missing in these people. Missing or at least covered up.

Today the preacher suggested that the fundamental question to ask of any so-called Christian leader is, “Do I wish to be like him/her?” And no, I look at most of these high profile believers and their conduct does not match what my heart desires. Something or some things are missing in their heart attitudes, and I want no part of them. What I do want, is for my boys and my friends, and the workers at the checkout counter to see Jesus in me and want whatever I have. I think of someone like Billy Graham, and recognize a man who has escaped the traps of worldly success and spiritual superiority, and offers an example and a heart that makes me long for the Christ he knows and makes known.

The second point that struck me in that sermon was about techniques versus conduct. He retold the Bible story about the guy who wanted to buy the Holy Spirit from Peter, just so he could make more money in his business. To his destruction, the man was obsessed with the technique and not the heart of the matter.

Self-help teaching makes me squirm. I find that books about how to live the Christian life, how to raise children, how to lose weight, leave me less helped and more discouraged. Even when these resources emphasize the need to call on God for assistance, they still make me feel inadequate and frustrated. I’ve always thought my response came from my perfectionist fault – the all-or-nothing attitude I struggle to tame. But no, says this morning's preacher; when we find ourselves lacking patience, or wrestling with anger or selfishness, the place we need to be is on our knees, not on the couch with a how-to book. We must confess, and beseech God to change our hearts.

I want to be more like Christ, so my witness is all His and none of mine, for the glory of God and the edification of my family and those I meet.